A Healthy Approach to Life After Death of a Spouse

The loss of a spouse brings with it changes to our entire lives.  Both age and length of marriage matter very little when the time comes for us to part with a wife or husband whom we’ve loved so much and depended upon so deeply.

The truth is that we are never really prepared for the death of a spouse, especially if the death is accidental and totally unanticipated.  Most survivors are left with family and friends who provide friendship, support, and counsel to ease the pain and hardship.  If these support groups are not available to the survivor then the loss of a spouse can become almost overwhelming.  

There is a process through loss, grief, and recovery.  The process is different for every person.  The length of time that it takes to complete this process is different for every person.  What is known and documented are the five tasks of this process.  The survivor needs to recognize what each task consists of and when he or she is ready to move onto the next task.  A survivor must recognize that the loss has indeed taken place and that there is pain associated with this loss.  There will be readjustment when the survivor’s circle of friends changes.  A renewed energy comes out and the survivor must channel, or reinvest, this energy into new friends and activities.  The survivor puts the memories of the loved one in proper context and appreciates those memories.

Finally, the surviving spouse can enjoy life, get help when it is needed, and never forget that emotions and memories will always remind him or her of that most special loved one.